Goal.Comedy: Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Favalli & Emerson To Start Milan Revolution Over Cissokho Dental Chaos

Earlier today it was reported in the Italian media that Porto star Aly Cissokho’s €15 million move from Porto to Milan was on the verge of collapse after the poor state of the player’s teeth caused him to fail a medical.

It now remains to be seen whether or not the transfer goes ahead, but a whole host of Milan players, past and present, have hit out at the idea that Cissokho may now not join.

“Is this some kind of joke,” sniped Pippo Inzaghi, nicknamed ‘Superpippo’, the Italian version of the Disney Character ‘Super Goof’, who gets his powers by nibbling on peanuts.

“The goofier you are the better you are,” added Ronaldinho, as he opened up a bottle of Coca Cola with his famous buck teeth.

“If Milan are going to reject Cissokho because of his teeth, why didn’t they reject me last year?”

Ronaldinho is currently holidaying on the beaches of the Copacabana, along with another former Milan player Ronaldo.

“I am the goofiest player Milan have ever had,” boasted the Corinthians star as he scoffed Churrasco and chips in his right hand, and an Ice Cream in his left.

“No, you are the widest player Milan have ever had,” replied Ronaldinho. “Nobody could even see your teeth under the rolls of flab on your face.”

“You need to stop eating,” added Ronaldinho, as he stole Ronaldo’s ice cream and ran off towards the sea.

“Thief, thief! Somebody stop him. He stole my ice cream,” cried Ronaldo.

A 70-year-old sitting down on a deck chair then stuck out his foot, and tripped up Ronaldinho as he ran past.

“Even on the beach, no one goes past General Emerson,” smirked the former Milan midfielder, who was holidaying with ex team-mate Giuseppe Favalli.

                                       General Emerson

Favalli then arrived on the scene dressed in a police uniform, attempting to impersonate a former member of ‘The Village People’.

“Adriano Galliani should be arrested,” declared Favalli.

“First of all he releases Emerson, then he doesn’t give me a new contract. He sells Kaka, and now he snubs Cissokho because of his teeth. It is just ridiculous.”

“We need to take a stand,” roared Emerson, waving his walking stick in the air.

“I have had dentures since 1962, and it never did me any harm. Teeth or no teeth, Emerson was, and still is, No.1.”

“What do you suggest we do,” asked Ronaldinho.

“Let’s start a revolution, and take over Milan,” replied Emerson.

“Can you imagine if we put all our powers together, even the whole Italian army couldn’t stop us?

“My speed would take Galliani and Berlusconi by surprise, Favalli’s intelligence would see us read all their moves, Ronaldinho’s magic would render them spellbound, while if nothing else works, we have Ronaldo who can just eat anyone who gets in our way.

“We are the Famous Four – and we will make sure Cissokho plays for Milan!,” ended Emerson’s war-cry.

Please note this story is satirical