Jesse Lingard admits he considered taking "time out" from football during struggles on and off the field at Manchester United, with the 28-year-old "going into games happy sitting on the bench".
The England international had slipped down the pecking order at Old Trafford prior to football entering a coronavirus-enforced lockdown in March 2020, with competitive minutes proving to be in short supply.
That situation failed to improve when action resumed, eventually leading Lingard to accept a loan proposal from West Ham, and there were some dark days when mental health concerns led a talented playmaker to weigh up the merits of walking away.
What has been said?
Lingard has told the entertainment show 'Presenting...' on his mindset at that time: "Not quit football, just have a time out really.
"I was going into games happy sitting on the bench and that’s not me. I was telling my brother the other day: ‘Remember when I was happy sitting on the bench and all this?’
"I didn’t want to play because my mind wasn’t there, I wasn’t focused at all. I was thinking about other things and obviously bottling it all up; trying to play football, you can’t do it."
Lingard added, with his mother having lived with depression for most of her life: "Through the years we had the help for her, but even just for me it’s hard to bottle things up.
"It feels like you’re not the same person. I felt like I wasn’t Jesse Lingard. Even in football matches, I felt like the game was just passing me by, like I just didn’t want to be there – it was crazy...
"So, I opened up to United and told them what I was going through, what my mum was going through and they’re always there to help.
"I could have easily quit in lockdown, been like: ‘Nah, I don’t want to do it’. I could have easily given up but the fight in me always brings me back to life and in lockdown I was just smashing the gym, doing runs. I wanted to get back to training fitter and faster than anyone else and I did that.
"I feel like lockdown has kind of transitioned me in a way. I watched my old games back and watched the World Cup games back and I thought: ‘Yeah, that’s the real Jesse Lingard.’
"The time that I had going a couple seasons back or last season, it just wasn’t me at all and you can see that.
"My brother who lives with me, he could see that and he’s got a video of me literally laying on the couch and I’m just staring for three minutes into thin air and he’s just thinking: ‘What is he going through? He’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders.’ And even he didn’t know what I was going through at the time."
The bigger picture
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Lingard has been playing with a smile on his face over recent weeks, with a winter switch to West Ham allowing him to rediscover a spark.
Nine goals have been recorded for the Hammers, earning an England recall along the way, and talk of a permanent transfer being put in place this summer is starting to gather pace.
Another unfortunate setback has to be overcome before then, though, with Lingard forced out of West Ham's defeat at Newcastle after picking up an untimely injury.
David Moyes' side will be back in action on Saturday when they take in a derby date with London neighbours and fellow top-four hopefuls Chelsea.