In the summer of 2003, Rafael Benitez asked his employers at Valencia to sign Mallorca striker Samuel Eto'o. They instead snapped up Penarol attacking midfielder Fabian Canobbio. "I was hoping for a sofa," Benitez later lamented, "and they've brought me a lamp."
The Spaniard's infamous analogy came to mind amid the furore caused by Chelsea's pursuit of Benfica's Enzo Fernandez.
Initially, most of the debate centred around the reported fee, as it was claimed that the Blues were willing to pay £112 million ($134m) for the Argentina international.
"That's one hell of a price" former Manchester United right-back Gary Neville wrote on Twitter. "A very good player but bloody hell!"
As it transpires, Chelsea are not presently willing to pay that exact figure. Indeed, according to Record, the deal has collapsed – for now, at least – because the Premier League side are offering only £100m ($120m), while Benfica will not accept a cent less than the €120m (£106m/$127m) buy-out clause in Fernandez's contract.
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Of course, whether it's £112m, £100m or even £75m ($90m), it would be an incredible sum for a player signed for just £8.8m ($10.6m) just six months ago.
But then, the shock surrounding the proposed deal is utterly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. The market dictates the size of fees these days and the market went mad a long, long time ago.
It has been completely detached from the harsh reality of daily life for many years now, so the numbers involved in top-level transfers rarely make sense anymore.
Benfica, lest any of us need reminding, charged Liverpool an initial £64m ($79m) for Darwin Nunez, a striker coming off the back of one prolific campaign. Of course, they were going to play hardball with Chelsea over the best young player at the 2022 World Cup, which has a proven track record of inflating fees.
Then, even more significantly, there's the fact that Fernandez's former club, River Plate, are entitled to a 25 per cent cut of any sale.
Benfica would also much rather hold on to a player that is utterly integral Roger Schmidt's side, as underlined by the fact that he has had more touches (1504) and made more successful passes (1186) than anyone else in the Primeira Liga this season
They have, after all, a very winnable Champions League last-16 tie with Club Brugge to look forward to in the spring. The Eagles, quite understandably, want to get at least one season out of a player they had only signed in June. Benfica also didn't expect anyone to even entertain paying his buy-out clause – at least not in January.
However, while it is early days for the new regime at Stamford Bridge, the early indicators are that Todd Boehly & Co. have more money than sense.
At the very least, they're certainly no strangers to paying crazy prices, having handed Brighton £56m ($67m) for Marc Cucurella last summer, and then brought in Welsey Fofana just before the close of the transfer window for an additional £69.5m ($84m).
Relatively speaking, then, a massive outlay on Fernandez makes sense. Right now, he might only be a "good player", as Neville says, but it's clear that he has the makings of a great one.
His heroics in Qatar are testament to his enormous potential, and his current class. Indeed, Fernandez made an instantaneous and transformative impact on Argentina's World Cup campaign, coming off the bench to score the killer second goal in the must-win group game with Mexico.
Lionel Messi labelled him "a spectacular kid", and he is, with his subsequent performances proving a joy to behold.
His introduction into the starting line-up really was one of the pivotal moments of the entire tournament. Whether deployed in a holding role or as a box-to-box midfielder, Fernandez flourished, bringing dynamism, precision and creativity to Lionel Scaloni's midfield.
GettyHe also played with a maturity that belied his young age. While some of his compatriots, most notably Leandro Paredes and Rodrigo De Paul, proved prone to losing their heads, Fernandez always remained in control.
Just like pretty much everyone else, Jose Peseiro was surprised to learn that he was only 21 years. "Either that's a lie," Nigeria's Portuguese coach told A Bola, "or he's a genius."
Fernandez, then, has both the talent and the temperament to have an equally transformative effect on a Chelsea midfield that is in dire need of an overhaul.
N'Golo Kante may yet sign a new contract to keep him at the club past this summer, but it is clear that the Frenchman is not the force he once was, while Jorginho's influence has been on the wane for some time now too as he enters the final six months of his deal.
However, Fernandez's possible January arrival wouldn't suddenly turn Graham Potter's team into top-four contenders, which brings us on to the other reason why the proposed transfer caused such a stir. And, in this instance, the sense of bewilderment is more understandable.
Some fans are quite rightly wondering why Chelsea could conceivably break the Premier League transfer record for a player who wouldn't resolve their most pressing problem. Fernandez is many things but he is not a prolific goalscorer, which is precisely what Potter needs most right now.
The main reason why the Blues sit 10th in the Premier League table is their malfunctioning forward line. Chelsea have scored just 20 goals in 16 games, with Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang having struck just once since his summer arrival from Barcelona. It's clear that the curse of the Chelsea No.9 shirt has struck again.
GettyHelp is already on the way, of course. David Datro Fofana has just arrived from Molde, but it would be unfair to ask the youngster to carry the attack for the remainder of the season, while RB Leipzig's versatile attacker Christopher Nkunku won't join until the summer.
The fear, then, among the Stamford Bridge faithful is that their hopes of making up the 10-point deficit to fourth-placed Manchester United between now and the end of the season will be severely undermined by their current lack of a clinical finisher. Let's face it, Kai Havertz is not the solution to Chelsea's goalscoring problem, and never will be.
Chelsea's new owners clearly have money to burn. But failure to qualify for next season's Champions League would hit them hard, both in terms of revenue and recruitment.
Indeed, it's telling that the deal is in danger of complete collapse over the buy-out clause as they want to avoid paying one lump sum up front, which would obviously put them at risk of falling foul of Financial Fair Play (FFP) regulations.
The winter window had only just opened, though. Negotiations could yet resume. After all, the Fernandez sale would represent yet another brilliant bit of business by Benfica.
He would also likely prove an excellent addition for Chelsea, given this is a top talent who could become a midfield mainstay for the next 10 years.
However, it's hard to shake the suspicion that after watching his employers spend the past week trying to buy the most luminous lamp on the market, Potter will now be hoping that they prioritise an expensive new sofa instead.