Welcome to the Culture & Clobber Axis, where GOAL runs the rule over the latest goings-on at the intersection of football and culture - from the sublime to the ridiculous, the beautiful to the hideous, what's very hot and what's definitely not.
The countdown to Christmas is on, and the game we all love has thrown up no shortage of talking points, including a special pair of signature adidas boots, bizarre tattoo launches and questionable brand partnerships.
But where do the week's biggest topics from the football zeitgeist place in our comprehensive axis? Let's get into it...
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