There is a specific type of love saved for supreme athletes whose bodies betray them. You can’t contemplate R9’s achievements without wondering what could have been if his knee hadn't exploded. It’s hard to watch the elegance of Jack Wilshere’s twists and turns without wishing he had kinder ankles. Hazard could have been king of the world. Hargreaves. Diaby. Thiago.
Danny Welbeck is a footballer who defies neat and tidy narratives, another supreme athlete whose body has often betrayed him. Derided by some for his finishing, but capable of scoring the most improbable of goals. Repeated haunter of his former clubs but largely admired by the fanbases he’s left behind.
Recently, I’ve been thinking about him a lot. Being in the form of his life for Brighton has contributed to that, but Boya Dee deserves a larger portion of the blame. In the wake of Tottenham’s Shakespearean collapse against the Seagulls, he unlocked a long-dormant memory for me and some of my mates.At the top of my social feed, there he was once again. Welé, in all of his glory.
I messaged Boya, the person who reposted it, to find out if he was the original poster of the meme that me and my mates had talked about since 2016. He was. The actual artist's identity, however, remains a shadowy mystery. Any help in discovering the creative genius behind the composition would be much appreciated. It would be like finding out Banksy's identity or taking the helmet off the Stig.
Welbeck has always inspired memes. But why? What makes him so ripe for the genre?
To clear my cluttered mind, I tracked down some of the people who have watched him week in, week out over the course of his unique 16-year professional career this far. Here is his story. The tale of Welé, told by those who were there.
Welbeck has made over 300 Premier League appearances, been capped 42 times by his country and won six major trophies. There is nothing inevitable about this. Yes, he may have grown up on the same Longsight street as Wes Brown, but at youth level, he was afflicted by Osgood-Schlatter disease. The condition, when your bones are growing quicker than your muscles, left Welbeck unable to train and in “agony” after matches.
It’s remarkable, really. Despite all of the excruciating pain, he emerged from the cut-throat Manchester United academy as a shining light. Welbeck banged them in for the age groups, was named Jimmy Murphy Player of the Year in 2008 and then began mixing it with the first-team squad. A League Cup debut followed, as did a Premier League bow against Stoke City aged 17 in November 2008.
Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney and Ryan Giggs were sidelined, but Fergie had lit a rocket under his squad’s collective arse following the previous weekend’s defeat to Arsène Wenger’s Arsenal. By the time Welbeck entered the fray, United were 3–0 up and cruising—but things were about to go stratospheric.
Evading one of Ryan Shawcross’ industrial-grade slide tackles with a cute, around-the-corner pass to fellow debutant Manucho, Welbeck strode forward towards the Stretford End, accompanied by the soundtrack of thousands of plastic seats slapping against concrete. There is no better sound in football.
He has the look and manner of a herbivore—completely nonthreatening
“I've thought about it every minute of my life,” he later said about what came next.
